|Richard Maguire Says:|
Monday, November 29, 2010 @4:16:46 AM
This is a tough one. I've been where you are. Struggling with autism takes lots of emotional and physical strength. This can lead to one being behind one's peers in terms of career etc, and it sucks to see this success in others when feeling low. What I can say is that from decades of working in social care and dealing pastorally in the Church is that few people have it good all the time. I have known and do know several couples who have it good in a material sense; good carers, seven figure bank balances, big houses and expensive cars. One thing that is quite apparent, and backed up by research is that it is in our relationships with our families and other people that we find our happiness. The rich people I know are either happy or unhappy; the happy ones do have excellent relationships with everyone including themselves. The unhappy rich people live isolated lives where the maintenance of their possetions and standing in their career mean more than relationships with people. These people are isolated, disliked, can’t get on with people and are poorly regarded by others. They don’t see beyond their small, albeit well funded and depressed lifestyle.
What I mean is that success and happiness is caused by healthy relationships with ourselves and others, the most important of these relationships is with God in Jesus. God made us for relationships; relationship is an intrinsic property of God. He can be known in a very human form, he does know exactly what causes us grief and importantly, happiness.
Being autistic I have been behind in my career and earning power all my life. I have struggled with this, still do. Although gradually I have been more able to value relationships and I am getting happier by the decade. Yet with autism developments often happen through paradigm shifts rather than linear development and today I am going to meet someone in the autism world with whom I can do a great deal of business as an autism trainer and speaker. The break I have yearned for has happened in mid life. This came through years of work and relationships with people.
In the early years someone with autism can flounder a great deal in life and cause their parents no end of concern. I did this to my parents; the autistic adults I work with did it in their turn. However out of the blue paradigm shifts do happen and life does become clearer for the growing autistic person. One thing we have to contend with is a weak central coherence, that is why we may seem so unreachable and so discombobulated in our approach to life. The paradigm shifts do happen when all of a sudden things click into place in our consciousness. We often get to the right places a decade or so after most people, however due to having more life experience and having picked up a lot more practice on the way we really know what we are at when the paradigm shifts happen.
There is healing, lots of it although it may seem a million miles away. I wonder if it will catch you at unexpected times.