Reality Bites, Back to Work, and Autism Hurts
Tuesday, January 06, 2009 @3:48:27 AM
It is with a sad heart that I must tell you that I will not be able to be as prolific in my posts. Yesterday was a dose of reality. I started training to be a representative in the insurance and financial services industry. I will have to dedicate 24 hours a day to learning this new craft. I will miss the comments and communication with all the different view points fighting for our family members on the spectrum rights and path to recovery.
I was out of work for two full months during the months of November and December. I realized day one that to survive I had to change and grow. I interviewed and trained myself in areas I had never thought about going into before in my life. Standing in line at the unemployment office for the first time in my life was a very humbling experience. Writing to support groups and asking for help was even more humbling. Even though none of the groups came through with any support to date. I felt like I was doing something.
It is a very very lonely road as a father of a child on the spectrum. I understand why there are so many divorces. It is a really nasty downward spiral of trying to understand the path you are supposed to take. The mother and father want to protect, help , understand, defend, and equip themselves with all the tools to wrap their minds around their child's condition. There is no manual. No daily support. Men have a tendency to with draw. I have never been a talker. Daily my Wife and Mother in Law tell me you need to talk to him more. I get he will never talk unless you talk to him all the time. I really understand why people commit suicide and other acts. Thank God for George Bailey and "It's a wonderful Life."
I am sort of amazed at the treatment that I got from relatives friends and church while I was out of work. I have not missed a Sunday of Church in a few years. During the last few weeks I did. Not one person called to ask how I was doing. It almost seemed like I caught some disease and people kept their distance. More than parents with a child on the autism spectrum gets. I had many suggestions through the grape vine as places to inquire for work which I was thankful for but the basic human touch and concern was not there and is not there from everyday people.
My home work assignment for this week is Why I chose this new this new career. I have to write out what gets me up and going in the morning and keeps me up at night. It is ironic that those two things are driven by the strong desire to be with my son and help my son. The expectation in my world is for the Father to be the provider and hunter. I so long to be in a world where I could be by his side at all times. The Jett Travolta situation shows us how little control parents really have.
I am sorry I am a little whiny this morning. I just needed to get my feelings off my chest. I will go out the door, put my smile on, and act like Dad the invincible. Underneath I am a scared little child off to his first day of school. In many ways I am more vulnerable than that child. I know what is on the other side as I go down this new Rabbit hole. Once down there with the nose to the grind stone it is very seldom one is able to come up for air and sunshine.
Bottom Line be kind to those out of work. Be kind to everyone you meet. You never know the lives you could save as the world is going through its financial, social, and spiritual turmoil.
http://www.causecast.org/member/tanners-dad
What can you do today...
If you are a parent... Love your child unconditionally. Do not let your child feel they are any less because they cannot communicate the way we do or look after themselves. Do not forget to look after yourself and your significant other. ( If you don't have one find one...There is someone out there for everyone. You deserved to be loved also). Join a church. Speak to your friends. Keep up the good fight.
If you are Friend... If you have resources please consider supporting Generation Rescue as they move the agenda towards services and support programs. If you do not have financial resources provide respite services... Babysit, go with a parent to the grocery store, or running errands. Be there to listen.
If you are in the medical community it is time to wake up and do something...
If you are in the insurance industry it is time to make the people responsible pay...
if you are in the media it time to tell the truth...
If you are in the government it is time act...
If you are in education it is time to educate...
If you are in a religious community it is time to rally the troops to support families...
If you are in the New York City Office of Autism Speaks... remember that $50,000 you took from my community this fall could have helped to pay for my sons therapy this year.
If you are in contact with amanda peet and have a child with Autism invite her over to experience our lives first hand and but out of our childrens and the future of others children.
If you are impacted by autism (that means you are part of the human race) Join me in the fight. Join causecast with your own cause or mine. Make a difference in our world. now. State your change! Then make it happen.
If you happen to have some sleeping pills, sleep ideas for children with autism, or want to come spend the night let me know.... I need a nap.
Say a prayer for all those dealing or not dealing with their "Autism Like" conditions. Say a prayer for the Tavolta family may all their souls rest now...
If you are in the pharmaceutical industry it is time to pray...
People it is just time to deal with Autism....
http://www.causecast.org/member/tanners-dad
