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A cause and no effect pt 1

 I have worked off of this saying like it is true. I have actually bought into the assumption that your cause will lead to an effect in the environment. I no longer hold this as true. I have found that my actions hold no affect upon the environment and the two are seperate entities. My action do not have any effect upon what I receive and the older I get the less this is true.

I found that preparing for my clients and the work I put into getting ready to work does not result in their participation in therapy. Their particiaption is totally independent of my invitations and my pleasantries etc.In general I feel anything I do on a social level has this effect. The harder I try to be on time for an appointment the later I am and the better I treat friends and acquainteces the less likely they wish to be friends with me.

It is downright depressing. I find no cause in effect. My hard work does not make things better. Most of the time the harder I try the worse things get. I can cause things to become unravelled when I put alot of work into it. Hard work is a given and of course I wish to put tremendous effort into what I am trying to do, but I think it is over rated that people talk about it like it makes the outcome so much likely to occur. It does not. The harder I work at finding a job the more likely they tell me I am not the right person. The last two best efforts and really great efforts I have put into find a job I was told off before they even offered me an interview and they told me to stay home before I got to the first training. This seems to be worthy of a world record of rejection of some type. I dunno.

My efforts bear no effect upon the outcome... Oh wait there is one area, I put loads of effort into bodybuilding. I get out of that exactly what I put in. This is a notable exception to the rule. I really like how I look now but I worked at it.

If only the rest of my life worked like that.

I guess I will be a good looking depressed guy.