DISCUSSION FORUM

It's been a while since I have written a question but now new things have happened in my and my AS-boyfriend's lives. I have now fully grasped his AS which was a process that has been taking place during almost two years time now.

I am now at the end of this process, and I have kept this within me all this time because I wanted to not upset my boyfriend or cause him worry. Now this burden became to much for me so I kind of collapsed one day and couldn't go to work.

During March last year I realized we were dealing with AS for the first time. I was in chock and just cried like crazy for a long period. Then I started to read about AS and learn how to change my behaviour towards my boyfriend, after that we stopped fighting altogether.

Then during autumn of that year I realized I was working hard to make him understand me. Way harder than I thought. Then I realized our relationship had changed and I was more his caregiver than his girlfriend. Our lovelife had vanished in this process.

Now, after the collapse, I told him everything and he told me that we always should talk about things to avoid this kind of situation. He also said he was no longer "set" on how to be a partner so that is why our lovelife changed, but he also said he still wants to have one.

So now (sorry for this loooong story), I'm worried that my NT-ways are blocking him and that he is blocking me. He said that is not the case and that he wants to have me in his life. But I just want what's best for him and maybe that is not having me "disturbing" him.

For aspies, love is different than for NTs. And I simply wondered if in practise, an aspie is actually more content without a gf, I'm worried it's just his wish to be normal that has made him want me. I want him to need me as his partner, but I'm not so sure he really does.

So now to the question I was actually going to ask ( ), what is a common reaction in an NT-partner of an AS-partner when he or she finds out? I would like to have this all explained to me just to know what I am going through.

All the best to you and thank you for always providing great support.