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My preschool son has AS and is (according to his teacher) academically gifted. He is in a special ed classroom now for behavior issues but will be "mainstreamed" when he gets to kindergarten. His current teacher, though, thinks he already knows everything they teach in kindergarten and that he may be learning on a third grade level (he is 4 years old). So what do we do? He is not mature enough to skip a grade, and his social skills are very delayed. When he is bored in the classroom he tends to act up (knocking things over, climbing on bookshelves, etc.), but when he is presented with challenging material he does very well. Has anyone been through this? What can be done in school for a child who is way behind his peers socially and emotionally, but way ahead of them academically? There just doesn't seem to be a right place for him.

Posted - 08/13/2008 :  07:21:10      

Hi Cuttlefish.

Don't be too alarmed. This behavior is very common. Our son is 17 and has been reading at a college level since he was 12 or so. However, emotionally, his maturity is also far behind his intellect. Rather than act up, his methodology for "coping" has been to shut down and sleep. His school has accommodated him by providing a bean bag chair and a fan (two things he loves when he sleeps) so he can "de-stress" during these periods. BTW - he is in special ed so this can happen. We're also mainstreaming him as much as he can tolerate (he has huge anxiety and sensory issues). It's a step at a time.

There is no one answer here. I hope your school system is open to "alternatives" for your child to pursue when stressed/bored. Is he a gamer? Have you tried something like a Nintendo DS?


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Posted - 08/13/2008 :  08:25:05  

My son is not into games, TV, movies, or playing. His #1 thing is learning. He doesn't really like preschool because he says there isn't enough learning! He keeps asking me if kindergarten will have more learning and less playing. But considering how advanced he is academically, it doesn't sound like he will be challenged in kindergarten, and because of this they say he will need a "shadow" in the classroom to keep him from being disruptive. It seems that he is basically "punished" for being too smart, i.e., this is what we teach in kindergarten and if you already know this stuff, too bad, we'll get an aide to keep you in your seat while the other kids learn. Sigh. It's complicated, as you know.

He still has another year of preschool, so hopefully this year we'll come up with a plan. And I guess he will also mature a bit in the next year. If we can get him to control his behavior in the classroom (he also has sensory and anxiety issues, which really become intense when he's among peers) rather than disrupt and act out, I think we'd have more luck coming up with a reasonable plan for the classroom.

I worry because I know of two AS boys in my area (but not in our school district) who were recently given three-day suspensions from kindergarten (!!!) for "bad behavior."

Posted - 08/13/2008 :  16:41:07      

Yikes. I can see the suspension threat as a concern!

What are your son's interests? What does he want to learn about?

Craig


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Posted - 08/15/2008 :  22:58:59  

"In theory..." His IEP would enable him to be placed properly for his social maturity while still challenging him academically.

Theory and reality is so far apart, well, don't get me started.

What part of the country are you in?

A "normal" four year old is not mature enough for kindergarten. In fact, many of them are not mature enough at five. I believe legally, by federal law (?) no child is required to attend school prior to the age of seven. He needs socialization, no question there, is there a way he can get it outside of the school setting?

The school "mill" is very powerful once set in motion once they set foot into a class, they tend to graduate with that class, no matter what. The easiest time to hold a child back is now.

What kind of program is he in now and how did he get placed there?
Is it possible to keep him in the special ed program he is currently in for another year? Would that be a good placement? Does he have any friends in the group of children he is with right now?

Is the TAG (Talented and Gifted) program in your area sound, or just for show? Find out. The fact is, when you have a child with a double label like TAG/AS, unless you are very up to speed, the buck is going to get passed around. Each department is going to expect the other department to "handle it." And, lacking that... they will expect YOU to fill in the void. Are you up for essentially tutoring your child, creating daily lesson plans for him for the next 12 years? Because if you aren't, he just might be coloring for the next 12 years. It is the rare teacher, I've been lucky to have met a few, who can take on that kind of disparity inside a mainstream program, or anywhere actually.

Posted - 08/16/2008 :  14:06:33      

We're in Minnesota... one of the BEST places to be for a child with autism (Dakota County).

There are MANY families up here that home school. The moms organize frequent social gatherings to compensate for the "not much social time" criticism. If you could find one of these group and hang out with them (it's usually, the more the merrier). You might try posting a note at a local coffee shop. Or ask at church.

Nolan has struggled with school. He's brilliant, but impatient. He learns quickly but his sensory issues constantly interfere. And his anxiety disorder is more debilitating than his Asperger's. He is in Special Ed.

Up to last year, all the autism kids were grouped together. That was a nightmare. Each kept setting the others "off" into meltdowns. However, the end of last year has resulted in Nolan having the best year of his life! He met two other Aspies like him that love animals and dry humor (Ripleys, Guinness Book or World Records, etc). We are constantly having his two friends over for sleepovers. Yep, sleepovers! Food issues and all! This summer they've been to the beach, the zoo (several times) and more! The socialization growth has been enormous! Between the 3 of them, one can tell time and they ALL accept each other's shortcomings. I can't tell you what a delight it's been for everyone.

The learning from this experience would be, never give you that your child will find someone else, possibly like them, that they can socialize with. Even "parallel play" is a start.

Nolan struggles with mainstream classes. Our goal is as much on learning how to socialize as learn. He has matured some in the past 2 years. We're hopeful, the more time that passes, the more accepting he will become.

Hope this all helps!

Craig




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Posted - 12/09/2008 :  11:17:58  

My now 18 year old son is attending a life transition school before he can actually get his diploma. The special ed program for MoundsView Schools does not have enough power to tell the teachers that an IEP is not just a guideline. He did not academically graduate either, although it was in his IEP for teachers to use his grade for any finals as his quarter/semester grade, it was not done. And his Special Ed teacher was unable to enforce it. He has always absorbed information like a sponge. He could not take notes in classes because to do so, he would have to stop listening to the teachers. He was actually docked grade points from class participation because of this. It was a struggle almost the entire time. The one positive was that he was more social by the end of 12th grade that I would have thought possible

Since the 6th grade, he was in a special ed class 1-2 hours each day with the reassurance that if he needed, he could go back into that classroom to bring his anxiety level down. He knew his "numbers" and alphabet by the time he was 2 and at the age of 6, he was reading at a 7th grade reading level. It was difficult to find reading material that was age appropriate yet challenge and hold his interest. Some of the books I chose for him were for "young adult readers" and when I would read them aloud, I would edit out the parts I did not think appropriate. As a young adult, he reread these books and found that indeed, I did edit chunks out.

My son has an ASD friend, also very bright. His parents chose to isolate him and he had attended a special class all day for ASD kids. Their main difference is that this friend is more socially inept. He too, is going to a transitional school. His parents do not have faith in him that he will find his way in life..even with help. They have retained guardianship of him and make all of his decisions legally, financially and educationally for him (I chose not to with my son). These two boys (same age) get together and all they discuss is video games and computers. It's fun to watch and listen to. His friend sometimes calls me too, when he just needs someone to talk to.

Gayle

Posted - 12/09/2008 :  11:20:22  

A little footnote...I did try to get him into the gifted and talented program starting in elementary school, but was told that he could not be included because in their opinion, he was too disruptive.

Posted - 12/09/2008 :  15:08:23      

Nolan can also be disruptive (noises, movements, etc). He was allowed to attend certain mainstream classes at the elite School for Environmental Studies here in Apple Valley/Eagan, MN. He was quite the exception... it's a very selective program. But the school system reviewed Nolan's interests, intellects and abilities and decided to give it a try. He did well. He didn't do all things (some were too gross for him). But the best part, the other students came to surround him with support. They became more patient, understanding and helpful to Nolan... especially during times of his stress. They saw his gifts and helped develop them.

In addition to broadening everyone's academic horizons, Nolan made it possible for a group of HS students to grow in compassion and understanding.

Nolan will never be able to do what most neurotypical kids can do. But he can experience joy and intellectual satisfaction. And thanks to an open minded educational system here in Dakota cty, he can provide a level of education to fellow students far beyond a standard curriculum.

It's been a very good academic year.


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